As I Am
by Misoka Kai
Summary: A fic about Arthur proposing. Based on the song Heather Dale - As I am. Pairing: Merthur. One-shot.


**A/N: This idea came up when I listened to the song _Heather Dale - As I Am._ XD It's a good song, check it out! I know that the song is about Arthur proposing to Gwen but, being the Merthur shipper I am, I can't help but to make Arthur propose to Merlin instead, pardon me. :'D So, yeah, it's a slash so, if it's not your cup of tea, better stay away.**

**English isn't my native language so I'm sorry for any spellings or grammar mistakes, right, hope you enjoy the story!**

**Disclaimer: Merlin isn't mine, though I'd love to have it... ;-; But nah, the series won't be that amazing if I'm the owner. :'D**

* * *

As I Am

Time passed. King Arthur survived the Battle of Camlann, thanks to his manservant managed to bring him to Lake of Avalon just in time with the help of the Great Dragon. Thanks to this, magic has been acknowledged in Camelot and said manservant was appointed as the Court Warlock. Peace reigned over Camelot.

Arthur stared at the ring he's holding.

_This is it. I'm going to do it today._

* * *

Passing through the halls of Camelot castle, the newly appointed Court Warlock hummed to himself. Magical threats have been a rare occurrence nowadays and everyday are just so peaceful that he can't helped but be happy himself.

There is but one thing though.

Arthur's wife.

He knows that Arthur and Gwen are destined together, but somehow, instead of making Gwen his Queen, Arthur decided to make Gwen a princess instead. And with all the chaos done, it should be around time for Arthur to ask for Gwen's hand in marriage.

The thought makes the warlock's heart aches. He wishes it could be him instead, but no, Gwen and Arthur are meant to be one, it's what Destiny wanted. The warlock's love for his King is something that can never be granted.

By this time, Merlin has stopped humming and walked slowly, head looking down in sadness.

_I really need to stop these thoughts._

"Merlin!"

A familiar voice stopped him in his tracks, the sound of boots closing their distance following. Merlin turned around, putting a smile on his face, "What is it, King Prat?"

"Say, do you…" Arthur pulled out a box, opening it, revealing a ring.

Merlin's breath hitched. "It's lovely!"

"You think so?" Arthur scratched his head in embarrassment. "So, what do you think?"

"Of course Gwen would love it!" Arthur's face falls, and Merlin doesn't even notice it, "I saw Gwen going to the lower town just now, maybe you can catch her if you go now!"

"But, I—" Arthur stuttered as Merlin pushed him on the direction of the castle's entrance.

"No 'but's! It's lovely and I'm sure Gwen would definitely like it!"

Arthur reluctantly starts walking away.

Just after a few steps though, Merlin pulls him, and whispered to his ear, "Just be yourself, I like you for who you are and I'm sure she does, too." Merlin releases Arthur, gives him the widest though forced smile and waves.

Arthur looked confusedly at Merlin but nods and walked away.

As soon as Arthur is out of sight, Merlin sighs to himself. "I'm stupid. What have I done, saying that? Sounded like I'm in love with him…" Merlin headed to the opposite direction, back to his new chamber, determined to pass time by practicing magic spells or perhaps experimenting with new herbs.

* * *

"Guinevere!"

Arthur called out as soon as Gwen is in his sight through the entire crowd. Gwen, hearing Arthur's call, turns towards him, immediately stopping on her tracks.

"Arthur?"

Arthur catches his breath for awhile before gripping both of his hand. "I need your help, Gwen."

Gwen tilts her head in confusion, before realization dawns on her, "Merlin?"

Arthur nods and looks away.

Gwen smiles and pats his head softly. "Gladly. What can I do?"

Arthur, ecstatic, hugs Gwen in reflex. "Thank you, Gwen!"

Gwen returns the hug and smoothes a hand down Arthur's back. "Anytime."

Unknown to them, a certain warlock is looking at their exchange the whole time. Heart aching, he closes the window and turns away, trying to concentrate on his work but failing.

* * *

"So, tell me, how are you planning to propose him?" Gwen looks at Arthur from across the table, studying Arthur.

"Um, I don't know?" Arthur shrugs. "I tried to give him the ring before but he… seems to misunderstand and thought that the ring's for you instead…?"

"Oh, Arthur, you know Merlin, he easily misunderstands the situation."

"I just didn't think that he would… cut me off like that…" Arthur looks away.

Gwen sighs fondly. "Well, I guess you just need to try harder then."

"But how?"

"Be yourself, Arthur. Merlin loves you for who you are, you just have to be yourself", Gwen assures him, giving him a pat on the shoulder. "Have confidence."

"Gwen…" Arthur looks up at her, "Thank you."

With that, Arthur runs out of Gwen's chambers. Gwen looks at the closed door behind the King's retreating back and chuckled to herself. "Good luck, Arthur."

* * *

Merlin is deeply absorbed on his magic book, trying to forget the exchange between Arthur and Gwen. He then closes the book and sighs in frustration at his lack of concentration. He opts to play around with his magic instead, chanting small and simple spells, solely for his entertainment.

Despite his magic trying to cheer him up, he can't stop the tears threatening to fall. Soon, he was sobbing to himself, spells forgotten. He put his arms on knees, burying his head into the space. "Why must I fall for that stupid prat…" he mutters to himself.

Suddenly, the door bursts open, revealing the King of Camelot standing there. Merlin, shocked, tried to wipe his tears dry with his sleeves. "Arthur? Don't you _knock_?" he asked, exasperated.

"Merlin, I—" the King stopped dead at the sight of his warlock, immediately closing the door behind him, he hurries to the warlock's side, "What happened? Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you?" Torrents of questions are unleashed as his mind racks on why was Merlin crying.

"Oh, shut up, you prat, it's nothing, just dust In my eyes is all", Merlin reassures him. The king remains unwavering though.

"No, Merlin, tell me, is something bothering you?" he fixes eyes with Merlin and Merlin can see the worry and concern there.

He laughs softly. "Didn't know you cared."

"Of course I care!" Arthur immediately replies, catching Merlin off guard that the Royal Prat who has always been dishonest about his feelings has actually blurted out that he _cares_ about Merlin who's simply a Court Warlock and his ex-manservant.

"No, it's really nothing, Arthur. 'Sides, what are you here for? And…" Merlin stops short, scanning the King up and down, "You look kind of… different?"

"Oh, you noticed?"

"Well, you usually wear something… fancier", Merlin points out. "It's just rare and… refreshing to see you wearing simple clothes."

Arthur chuckles. "So, you like it?"

Merlin's cheeks redden by a shade and he shrugs, trying to sound neutral, "It's okay." He looks away, "What brings you here, Arthur?"

"You don't like me being here?" he feigns hurt.

Merlin laughs, "Stop stalling and just spit it out!"

"Fine." Arthur breathes in deeply before slowly breathing out. His fist clenches and unclenches beside him as he looks at Merlin nervously.

"Arthur?" Merlin thought he saw Arthur's cheeks redden a bit and is that… embarrassment in his eyes?

"Merlin , right now I… I come to you as a man, not as a King," Arthur shifts uncomfortably, "All the times we've been together, somewhere along the way, I develop this feeling for you and since then, I knew that you're _the one_ for me. And please, answer this truthfully, with your own true feelings and not because you felt like you're forced or obliged to but… I love you, will you marry me, Merlin?" he finishes as he bends down on one knee, revealing a ring from his pocket.

Saying Merlin was surprised is an understatement, he is utterly surprised, to the point of unable to form any sentences.

"Merlin?" Arthur calls out to him, making Merlin snaps out of it.

"I—I, but Arthur, aren't you and Gwen…"

"Me and Gwen?" Arthur looks at him confused before realization dawns on him. Merlin thought that he and Gwen were an item all along! "No, no, she's sweet and kind an all, but, no, my feelings for her was simply a feeling of good friends but nothing more than that, I swear! Besides, you know she already has Lancelot."

"Oh, Arthur, I…" Merlin starts to tear up, he covers his face with his hand, trying to wipe off the tears before Arthur starts calling him a girl.

"So, what's your answer, Merlin?"

"Oh, yes, yes, yes!" Merlin throws himself to Arthur, embracing him. "I love you too, Arthur!" He releases Arthur, giving space between them, he smiled at Arthur, "You don't know how many years have I dreamt of you asking me that."

Arthur laughs softly. "Don't be such a girl, _Mer_lin." He takes Merlin's hand on his own, "May I?" he asks, ring just inches apart from Merlin's ring finger.

Merlin smiles widely and nods. It was all Arthur needs to inserts the ring to Merlin's finger as he leans forward, capturing the warlock's lips with his own. Merlin was surprised at first, though he immediately kisses back as soon as he snaps out of it.

The kiss was soft and sweet, both wanting to take it slowly. The kiss lasts for awhile, and by the time they separate from each other, they are gasping for breath, lips red and swollen. They look at each other, smile, and kiss once again, sealing their love together. All they need next is the official ceremony and a public announcement. But that is for another day, for now, they're content with being with each other.

"My warlock", Arthur whispers softly on Merlin's ears as he embraces Merlin.

"My King."

~Owari

* * *

**A/N: Yesh, I make a happy ending for Gwen!~ Don't tell me how they manage to solve the Dorocha problem without Lancelot sacrificing himself, I don't even know. :') And duh, this _is _a fanfiction, so, yeah, imagination runs wild! XDD (_Too_ wild maybe)**

**So, um, yeah, hope you enjoy it and thank you for reading!**

**Side note, a bit of promoting a fanfic, I know about _Heather Dale_ from this fanfic, _Each Step_, check it out, it's awesome! -v-) It's a Merlin-centric fic.**

**-Kai**


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